2020 hindsight in my side mirror

I think 2020 will be a year we all will remember! So I thought I would sum up how the year has been through my own perspective.

The whole world has changed and a lot of people have had it very difficult.

For a lot of people around the world this Corona thing has had a devastating impact on their lives. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been born in Norway. It has been tough for many people here too, but compared to a lot of other places we have nothing to complain about.

People have lost their jobs, been kicked out of their homes, lost friends and family and had to flee both wars and famine.

Personally I have also lost a lot this year but I try to always put things into perspective.

For me this year started off on sick leave. In November of 2019 I collapsed while delivering a package at the post office. I had been working basically for 5 years straight an average of 10-15 hour shifts 6-7 days a week and my body just said stop.

So for the first few months I was just too exhausted to do anything constructive. When I finally started to feel a little bit better the Corona virus started spreading around the world and we were all told to stay inside.

During this time the company I was part owner of and had worked my ass off trying to build went bankrupt and I lost all of my investment in it.

But Personally I still got money from the government so I was doing Ok. And Pia was still working as a nurse so we had it pretty good.

So many people around the world lost their job without getting any support.

During all this time we were still planning our dream trip to South Africa and were hoping it would be ok by the time we had decided to leave in November.

In many countries people were not allowed to leave their homes at all, but here in Norway we were just told to stay away from people, so we were able to go on a few motorcycle trips during the spring and summer.

Then August came and the time to do the first leg of out trip. We planned on doing the North cape to Trondheim part during summer and leave Trondheim to go south in November.

We were both so excited to officially start our big trip. We had decided to ride up to the North Cape as quick as we could and take our time going back.

The way up was great. Terrible weather and long days, but so many beautiful views.

At 4 in the morning of August 31st we reached the North Cape and set course south. Instead of going doing the same route back we decided to look for the Trans Euro Trail.

It started off wonderful and we rode all day. Around 7 in the evening we decided to look for camp, and as we were scouting for a place to set up camp the road disappeared underneath us and we had to be rescued in a helicopter.

Pia broke her back and I damaged my intestines. I would have died if I was alone and I had to spend more than 6 weeks in the hospital recovering after three surgeries.

The only reason I got through it was because I had Pia by my side.

I felt so close to her while going through all of it.

This whole thing meant we would not be able to leave in November as we had planned so we got an apartment to stay in while we healed up and found a new departure date after the winter.

For the first few weeks I was not able to do much and struggled just to walk a few hundred meters.

During this time my dog Amigo was in a lot of pain and we made the decision to put him down. I lost my best friend of 14 years just over two weeks after getting out of the hospital.

I didn’t sleep good for weeks and could not get him out of my head.

After a couple of months had passed I was starting to not think about him every second.

But Something felt off in the way Pia was acting. I tried several times to sit down and talk to her but didn’t get any answers.

So I decided to give her some space and go to the cabin for a few days.

This was what she needed to realise that she did not love me and decided to leave me.

That came a s huge surprise to me. I though we were both on the same page but she had been feeling different for a long time without talking to me about it.

I know that all of this is nothing compared to what many others have gone through, but for me personally it has been really tough.

I have had depression for as long as I can remember and been suicidal most of my adult life. But curiosity over what is to come has kept me here.

This year I started off physically exhausted but mentally better than I have ever felt about my personal life. But it ended the opposite. Physically in better shape but mentally lower than I have been in a long time.

I promised I would try to be as honest as I can with all of you, and I was seriously considering not being here for 2021.

But after all of this happened I realised that I actually have a lot of good people in my life. My friends came out of quarantine mode to talk to me and help me see things from different angles.

So I decided I would do my best to make 2021 my year.

I was wondering if Ride the Bean would work solo, and after hearing what so many of you have said I have decided to keep it going and continue on the trip I have been dreaming about for so long.

I still need to heal up and wait for spring but as soon as I am able to I will head south. I dont know if I will still follow the same route, but I will at least see where the road takes me.

Thank you all so much for wanting to stay with me even if Ride the Bean now is going solo.

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