The end of Ride the Bean?

2020 has been a crap year for a lot of people. We are lucky to have been born in Norway with all the social programs we have access to, like healthcare, education and support from the government when we need it.

But it has also been a difficult year for us. We have spent this whole year planning for the trip of our life, riding motorbikes from Norway to South Africa. It has been exciting, but also a lot of stress and a lot of work.

I started the year off on sick leave after I collapsed at the post office right before the Christmas season kicked off last year. I had been working way too much for way too long without being able to recover in between and my body finally said enough is enough.

So the first couple of months of 2020 I started off just trying to gain enough energy to walk out the door.

Then Covid hit and everyone was forced inside. That was not so easy either.

And it is still going on and seem to just get worse.

But then we saw some light this summer when we finally could set off of our big journey by going to the north cape.

From there we managed to drive only a few km. before we came across a missing bridge and went flying into the river. Our bikes were broken and we were rescued in a helicopter. If we did not have service on our phones I would likely be dead now.

Then started the process of getting out of the hospital. It was not an easy time, but since I had Pia next to me supporting me I felt I might be able to get through it. Without her I would have given up. She was my rock and I felt so close to her through it all. I felt like if we can get through this we can do anything together.

After more than 6 weeks in the hospital I finally got out. And straight away I had to put my dog down. Amigo has been by best friend for almost 14 years and he was just getting too old and had a lot of pain.

So if I was not struggling enough with just staying alive, I also lost my best friend.

Then a few more weeks went by and Pia and I was not really communicating about what we were going through.

I felt I was getting closer to her but she felt the opposite. She felt like she had to be my nurse because I was struggling to eat and she was starting to question what we were, our trip and what we had become.

I tried to sit down to talk to her several times, but she didn’t really know what to say.

So I figured I would give her some time and I went to the cabin for a few days. This was when I filmed the video “Lets try to ski”.

While I was up there she decided that she did not love me anymore and that she wanted to leave me and Ride the bean behind and change direction in her life.

So when I came back from the cabin, that was the first thing she told me.

It came as a shock to me and I was scared and sad and didn’t know what to do with myself.

To be honest I still don’t.

I thought we had a great relationship, but it turned out that I was the only one feeling that way.

I should probably have known, but I don’t know how I could have.

So 2020 started off shitty and ended even worse.

After thinking that I had the direction my life was going figured out, I now need to reevaluate absolutely everything.

But I don’t think I am alone in having to do that this year. Although it has been a very tough year for me, I know that so many people have it way worse. I have been lucky to not loose anyone I know to Covid yet. So as long as I am alive I should not complain.

I often feel bad about felling bad. But then I remember a quote someone told me. “Whatever your situation in life, your biggest problem is your biggest problem”.

Meaning that there will always be people both worse off and better off than you and you should not compare yourself to others.

If you have a really painful splinter, then that is your biggest problem at that moment. But if you are starving, then finding food is your biggest problem. On the surface one is not a big problem, but for that individual at that moment it is a huge one.

Feeling bad for whatever you struggle with at the moment does not make the feeling invalid just because someone is worse off.

But feeling bad helps nobody. So let us hope that 2021 will be a better year for everyone.

I do not know what I will do with my life now, but I have really enjoyed making these videos and all the feedback you all have given us.

That is why I have decided to keep Ride the bean going. I will have to change the website, social media and the concept of what Ride the Bean will be from now on, but I still enjoy exploring nature, meeting people, drinking coffee and riding motorbikes. So those things will still be the main focus. I just need to learn how to do it all on my own.

I would appreciate any suggestions you guys have for both video ideas or other things.

In 2021 Ride the Bean is going solo.